Activity Girl

7.19.25

Today and tomorrow, they are having a tattoo convention in the city. I want to go and my son said he wants too as well. Just have to coordinate it with his work schedule. He delivers pizza for Dominos at around 5 pm so it really doesn't give us much time to be there. No way could we be tattooed. This trip will just be for ideas and business cards.

When I was in my 20's I was nicknamed "Activity Girl" by my then boyfriend who eventually became my husband. I always wanted to see things, do things, partake in things. Sure, I enjoyed sitting home and watching movies. But I enjoyed going places and seeing life.

I get so sick of sitting on our couch for too long. It reminds me of our drinking days, when the beer was my entertainment. I never want to be that girl again.

I want to really utilize my time off. Especially the weekends. I've worked every other weekend for 25 years. Being now off majority of weekends, I have a different feeling about them. I want to make them count.

Life is short. Eat the cake.

Change of subject...

We were watching Breaking Bad last night. It was the episode where Walt was encouraging his 16-year-old son to drink Tequila. He got quite aggressive with it. It was some pissing contest between his brother-in-law and himself on who was the main influence on Walt's son's behavior.

It was such an awkward scene. I was mad embarrassed for his son and wife. But Walt was drunk obviously and making really bad decisions.

His son drank the tequila and ended up stumbling over to the pool, puking his guts out into the pool. The poor kid apologized to his father the next day for puking in the pool. That was heartbreaking. Dick move by Dad, force feeding Tequila, and the kid thinks he did something wrong.

Good thing Walt wised up and apologized to his son for his behavior and reassured him that puking in the pool was not his fault.

At first as I watched this scene begin to unfold, I was reminded of how in our society, adults letting their kids sip their beer or taste wine at Thanksgiving, seems like a perfectly normal coming of age occurrence. But should it be? I mean, really?

I felt a little bad that now that I don't drink, I can't partake in those moments. I won’t be able to go to a bar and get shit faced with my 21-year-old. I used to dream about doing that. I was super excited to partake in this activity. But really what kind of moment is it?

Here loved one. We are going to do drugs together. Yes. Let's poison our brains together. Let's potentially make bad life changing decisions together. After drink 3 we might even do something, we will regret in the morning.

Is this really what we think a coming-of-age experience should be? Don't we have anything else to offer our offspring? WOW.

How about teaching our kids Grandma's spaghetti recipe. You know, the secret sauce that everyone loves.

How about going canoeing and experiencing it together for the first time on their 21st birthday (yes, we live under a rock)

How about rock climbing at that cool place in Minnesota called BOULDERING PROJECT to celebrate their 18th birthday...

How about a picnic at Como Zoo. Let's eat watermelon and finger sandwiches, and bitch about all the ants...

I could go on...but I struggle to come up with other ideas because we have been brain-washed by everything that VICES are the core elements in growing up and coming of age.

18? GAMBLING, CIGARETTES

21? ALCOHOL...maybe WEED (Coming soon to theaters near you)

WTF are we doing here? Isn't there anything else that is fun that doesn't involve mind altering substances? Am I a prude? Just because I want to just find the natural things in life that are fun and enjoyable.

Ok ok, yes adrenaline rushes can be mind altering, but you know what I mean. Naturally occurring neurotransmitter changes. Chocolate and hugs cause Oxytocin release.

The bottom line is that it begins with you as a parent. You have the power to change this. I feel bad that I didn't do this for my kids. This is a regret I have.

Hopefully they will do this for their kids, but I am not so sure. They enjoy dabbling in the mood-altering substances just as many folks do in this world. I just wished I had done a better job at showing them the fun things in life that don't require a drink in hand.

I can celebrate the fact that I did do a lot of activities with my kids. Showing them how to bake, make holiday meals, how to forage for wild herbs and leaves, in karate with them...this list goes on. But I could have done that all without the bottle in the background. Time to move on and do better.

I am still trying to figure it out. I suppose me bringing my son to a tattoo convention is a start.

We cannot change the past. All we can do is learn from it and try to do better in the present and future.

Love, Alimoon