3.22.26
Let’s see what will flow from my finger tips today. Let’s let it all hang loose. Let’s let all the self editing go and just write.
That is hard for me to be honest. As I type I do edit what I say...
Perhaps it is just to be a bit more creative or flowery with my language. I enjoy putting themes to days I experience if they break a pattern of normalcy. For example, yesterday I will call The Feminine Fest or Feast of Feminine Energy. As I connected with two women that appear interested in starting up friendships with me.
One of which I will be making plans to go out with and the other I haven’t seen for quite a long time and she is back to the gym. I feel as I have accepted myself as I am, this perhaps draws people in. There is a magnetism from someone who loves themselves for who they truly are. When you are within your element you exude joy. Happiness and contentment flows out of your pores. You begin to ignite the fire within those who learned to smother their own. You are the wild fire they need.
I also feel as I connect to my own erotism, I feel more content. Regardless of how I started out, no matter how much guilt and shame I felt as I was going on in my life, I am who I am right now because I carved a path towards erotism. My love of pin-up, creative photography, burlesque, writing, singing, now silk fans...it’s all in effort to connect with the woman I am becoming. I am dedicated to being a vixen. A siren. A woman who has a lust for life. “I am woman, I am fearless, I am sexy, I’m divine” - Emmy Meli
What is erotism? It is your life force. Your vitality. The acceptance of your sexual nature and not giving into the shame and guilt your were taught growing up. It isn’t necessarily the act of sex. It is dedication to the anticipation, imagination, and fantasy of your life force. Your womb energy as they call it. Your creative power. It’s also called “Shakti”.
How to you get there? I mean, how do you mentally and spiritually arrive to this place where you can let your divine feminine energy thrive. Not a place of performance but a place of untapped energy that can flow. An aura that surrounds you and warms everyone nearby...
This is all internal “work”. Connecting to yourself is the first step. Cultivating these feelings comes from activities that move your body for starters. What do you like? Yoga? Dance? Running? All of these movements change your brain chemistry, allowing stress to dissolve. Stress in my opinion is the absolute block to this warm contented feeling.
Have you ever taken a yoga class and when you are done, you feel like a new human being? If only you could bottle that up and sip on it later. In yoga, the movements you make unblock “chakras”. Specifically your sacral chakra. When your sacral chakra is blocked, you can feel uncreative. Really essentially like a frump. That frump energy is the polar opposite to that open and warm energy I was to exude. That to me is grey sweat pants at the gym energy LOL. I’m looking for confident, butt enhancing pants energy.
Other ways to promote this softened contented self is to become more open in conversation. Some may view it as oversharing. Connection happens when you share the awkward things. Your true feelings. Wearing your heart on your sleeve will keep the true ones close. The conversation with likeminded people will flow effortlessly over time when you begin to build that trust. You just have to toss out hints of what you really like. See if they add anything. See if they grab onto what you are saying. I imagine myself flying a kite and the kite is what I just said. The little comment that might raise eyebrows. If that person likes what I said, they will grab that kite and running around wildly. Finally, they are able to fly their kite.
Filling your social media with people that support women in their feminine helps. Women support women. I watch burlesque performers. I support their journey towards body acceptance, creativity, and desire to entice. I support women who want to learn pole dancing, silk fans, junk journaling, or whatever fucking thing that lights the fire in their eyes. What, do we want people to feel oppressed and caged? No. We want to feel free ourselves. Why would be shame people? We want to live a life of feeling and depth. Don’t we?
Chose podcasts that support your journey. I have listened to the “Authentic Sex” podcast with Juliet Allen for several years. She is a sexologist and has helped me see how comfortable a human being can be speaking about sex. That sex is an absolute human need. It’s natural and nothing to be ashamed about. It really is a great one to help you reframe your thinking on what sex, sexuality, and erotism can be.
Another podcast that will help dissolve anxiety if you are girlie who is anxiously attached is “Being Her” with Margarita Nazarenko. When we feel like our partner is pulling away and we are anxiously attached people, we feel abandoned. We start to cling. We let self-care slide and only focus on putting our claws into our partner. That is our knee jerk response.
But you will learn this is not what you should do. You need to invest in yourself. You need to connect with yourself. You need to make yourself feel good. This is what I was speaking about before. The connection to erotism comes from work YOU do. Not something that someone does for you or to you. It begins with YOU. So go find out who you are and what you like.
Fill your spotify or apple iTunes with playlists that support your journey as well. May I recommend “I Shift Energy” Radio. When I am at the gym and I am listening to these feminine power songs, I will feel like the most magnetic woman in the whole gym. I will begin doing the yoga pose called “Wild Thing” and I can feel my energy flow, commanding an audience almost. I am not performing. I am the embodiment of wildfire. You can look but you can’t touch.
Take the pictures. Take as many pictures as you can of yourself with reckless abandon. You don’t have to post them. They can be for you or your partner. If you feel like you want to put them in a locked security file in your google then do so. The creative act of capturing yourself in an artfully erotic way is integral to harnessing your feminine power. Be playful. Put on the clothes you feel sexy in. Enough said.
What blocks us from engaging in all of the behaviors I just spoke of? Fear of judgement. Fear of the evil eye. Jealously and envy can play a role in people not supporting. It fuels judgement. They want what you have. They might even feel threatened that somehow you will take something away from them if their say partner sees you or sees your social media. Honestly you are just inviting them to the party. Let’s get theatrical for a moment, because we can. This is the Pink Pony Club ya’ll. It might not be on stage in platform heels. It might just be while you load your dishwasher in your grey sweatpants. But hey, the feeling is still there. If you wore fishnets under your grey sweatpants? Girl, I would give you a high five. Now we are talkin’.
We need to realize that we don’t have to be prim and proper to be good. It is that whole “Madonna-Whore” complex. The Madonna is Mother Mary. A mother can’t be a vixen. She is only a mother. Mothers can’t be sexy. They have to be prim and proper. Wiping noses and making dinner. She isn’t a sexual being. How dare she show a little leg. If she does...then she is a ___.
We need to embrace the idea that we can be both sides of the coin. A wonderful mother and an erotic partner. You do not have to choose one or the other. But you do have to choose to be both each day. At least I do. I choose to be both. I can be both. I am both. I do struggle to be both. But I am brave enough to make that choice to be both.
As we get older, we also feel perhaps embarrassed to be connected to our erotism. As though it is only for young people. I hope I am a feisty vixen into my 80’s and 90’s. Going to dance classes I know older women are still connected to the fact that they are women. They are making a choice to hold on to their vitality. You are never too old to remain in your feminine power. We can all take a lesson from Helen Mirren. She is a well-known actress, naturist, and posed topless at age 72 for a magazine. I admire that. I have always wanted to be like Bettie Page. Maybe someday I will be in the public eye. I already am Bettie Page at home.
This is all I have. Have a lovely Sunday.
Love, Alimoon
XOXO
